Yoga-phobe

Yoga has been recommended to me on more than one occasion. I can only assume that people think the "peacefulness" will rub off on me, and negate some of my bitterness.When I've said that vibe is not really for me people have countered that there are less "woo-woo" types of yoga.However, there's a much better reason for me not to do yoga.

Germs.

I don't want to buy a yoga mat unless I'm sure I will continue to use it, and I refuse to borrow the gym's loaner mat, where countless people have spent countless hours oozing sweat from the countless pores on their bloated body. I read in the newspaper that yoga practitioners have higher incidences of athlete's foot and plantar warts.

Ewww.

People know to wear flip-flops in the shower and locker room but very few realize that yoga mats can be just as bacteria-laden, if not more.You may think I'm being paranoid, but you'd be paranoid too if you had an immune system like mine.

I've gotten an infection from washing dishes.

Sometimes those rubber dishwashing gloves can get a little wet inside. Moisture plus darkness equals bacteria. There are germs everywhere, and usually in such low quantities that normal people don't get sick. I am not normal.

Once, after washing dishes with a pair of rubber gloves that did not belong to me, my hands felt a little itchy. That night itchiness gave way to redness.

When I woke up the next morning, I had pus.

Granted, I must have had a cut or something on my finger before, so the little intrepid microbes could get in, but still, who the hell picks up infections from gloves? Gloves are a germaphobe's best friend. They're supposed to protect us. I feel so betrayed.

I may have to start washing dishes in disposable latex gloves and destroy the environment. Sorry Mother Nature. You started it.