Story Time

When I was in high school I entered a writing contest with a satirical story about two bumblers trying to solve a murder mystery. I spent lots of time creating quirky characters with clever lines, making obscure literary references, editing and polishing my work.

I never heard back from the contest sponsors regarding that story.

The next year, when the contest was announced again, I thought about re-entering. Then I remember all the time I spent writing last year's story without even a "Thank you for trying" note.

I decided, "The contest is probably judged by a group of elderly people with no sense of humor. They want something poignant and emotional and blah blah blah."

I sat down at the computer and banged out a story in 45 minutes, written from the perspective of a 12-year old boy. The dialogue was simplistic, the characters were two-dimensional and the plot was predictable. After looking at the finished product I thought, "Geez, this is the worst story I've ever written. There's no wit or cynicism. Where's the snark?"

Fueled by apathy (if that is even possible), I sent it in anyway.

Guess what? I won first place.

I even double-checked the letter and envelope to make sure it was really addressed to me. Until I got my prize money and a certificate with my name and story title printed on it, I had this gnawing fear that they would realize they made a mistake and rescind the prize.

I made $1000 in 45 minutes. (Holy crap I wish that could happen again!)

I was 17, and that was an enormous sum of money to me. Of course, I entered college a few months later and spent $800 on textbooks the first semester.

Oh well, it was good while it lasted.