Painful Underpinnings (A Minor Rant about Corsets)

Just because you're wearing cheap lingerie as outerwear does not mean you're sexy. If you're wearing an expensive corset the wrong way you are not sexy either.

If I see these you are doing something wrong.

1. Back cleavage. If you've laced yourself in tightly enough to sprout new boobs on your back, you should be wearing a chemise. At the very least your corset should have a modesty panel (right under the criss-cross laces).

2. Saggy boobs. The rule about not wearing a bra with a corset does not apply if you are wearing an underbust corset or waist cincher. You still need support for the girls on top if you are more than an A cup. I have seen, on more than one occasion, people with large breasts exhibit significant flop overlapping the tops of their corsets by 3 inches or more. This is not attractive in the least. When you move they sway and yell to innocent bystanders, "I'm losing the fight with gravity!" Plus, doesn't it chafe?

3. Breasts cut in half. Some corsets have demi-cups that can be flattering when they lay correctly. Demi-cups are not an invitation to cinch the top of the corset so tightly you look like you're using the lack of circulation to do a crude amputation of your lower boob.

I was at a party where a woman was wearing such a concotion under a sweater. After she left the girls said, "Oh my god! Did you see the corset she was wearing?"

A guy said, "She was wearing a corset? I thought she was just lumpy."