Another Kind of Home Invasion

I came back from Europe about a week ago, but I've been silent due to my internet being cut off. Yes, my landlord "forgot" to pay the internet bill again. (I'm blogging from a friend's house). I was hoping to regale you with tales of my travel adventures, but I've been rather distracted.

I found out yesterday morning that my landlord is trying to sell the house, when a realtor showed up and said, "What? They didn't tell you?"

I stood there in my pajamas as she explained that he's been thinking of selling the house for a while, and she reminded him several times that he needed to notify his tenants. He kept insisting, "Yeah, I told them, but when you go to the house can you pretend you're a repairman or something?"

That bastard. Instead of telling us at the beginning of the summer so we could find new places to live, he decided to squeeze another few months of rent out of us. It didn't matter to him that trying to find an apartment right before school starts, after everyone else has signed their leases and found roommates, is rather difficult.

The newest roommate moved in 2 months ago. I'm sure the landlord knew at that time he was going to sell the house, but why consider the inconvenience to others when you can wring a few dollars from a college student dependent on his financial aid check to pay the rent?

I was suspicious when I came back from Europe and found flowers in the yard, and new carpet in an empty bedroom. I thought, "He's too lazy to fix the porch light but planted new flowers?" It all makes sense now. He's attempting to do last-minute, half-assed repairs. The realtor told him he needed to change all the filthy carpet in the house. He only changed about 1/3. There are now 3 (obviously) different colors and textures of adjoining carpet in the upstairs. The new carpet is lumpy, has huge air pockets, peels up near the walls and has loose nails and staples. It also smells funny.

I've also been requested not to be present when prospective buyers come to see the house. He doesn't want me telling people about the rat infestation problem, the dead air conditioning, the dodgy appliances and the electrical problems. Screw you jackass. I'll play along. I won't be in the house, but it doesn't mean I can't hang out around the driveway. Perhaps I'll let the buyers in and say, "Hi, I'm Snark and I have to go take a walk because they don't want me to talk to you. I'll be around nearby. Thanks!"

If the buyers are smart they'll chase me down and I can let them know to expect $9,000 in repairs the moment they move in. (The dead AC is over 20 years old. Every repairman has said they can patch it, but it'll break down very soon, so they recommend a $9000 replacement. I'm sure the landlord will cheap out and do the patch).

Yes, you heard right. It's been 6 weeks without air-conditioning in the house. There were two heatwaves during this time, with temperatures over 100 degrees.

In the next few weeks I'm supposed to expect a stream of strangers going through my bedroom, poking into my closets. The realtor has informed me that legally I can't "obstruct his fiduciary rights" so I have to accommodate anyone who wants to wander in and steal my stuff, even if I'm not home. (The realtor has keys that she's leaving in an electronic lock box attached to the house, that only "authorized" people can access).

I asked for 24 hours notice any time someone needs to enter, but I'm not optimistic about that. My landlord has shown up in the past unannounced. One time, he brought his son and entered with his own key, without even knocking. He walked in on my roommate, who just came out of the shower wrapped in a towel. There was no apology.

The realtor brought an air-conditioning salesman to the house yesterday to give a repair estimate. He needed to get into the attic through the entry in my bedroom. As usual, a shower of dust, rat feces and plaster came down onto my bed and floor. When I went down to the garage to get the vacuum cleaner to tidy up (yet again) I found out that the landlord took the vacuum. I had to borrow one from a friend in order to make my room livable. Sadly, I expect this to repeat as last-minute repairs continue.

I am worried, but not in panic mode. The housing market is poor, and the greedy jerk has an asking price that's $50,000 to $60,000 too much, according to the realtor. Plus, even if the house sells right now the escrow is going to take one month. I'm thinking of alternate housing options, but homelessness is not imminent.