Drama Central

I'm going to be couch-surfing for the next month. I could not stay at my old apartment anymore. Odd Guy got too psycho, and I had an emergency move yesterday. My dad and boyfriend moved most of my belongings to my parents' house, and I'm staying with friends and the bare necessities.

There's a lot of gritty details, and I'm still digesting, but the major points are:

Odd Guy got progressively crazier this week, and more angry we didn't go along with his control freak plans. The last straw for me was when I caught him putting pubic hair on my towel on Thursday night to retaliate. I didn't confront him because I didn't want him to completely freak out and vandalize all my things before I moved out. I stayed with a friend Friday night.

On Saturday morning, I told him I was planning to move out with a friend. I tried to be casual, non-accusatory and "played dumb." I said, "I'd just rather live with a friend. You don't need to pro-rate January rent; just give me the deposit and I'll be gone, thanks."

He refused and said "I'll give you my answer tomorrow." I asked him, "Oh gee, does that mean you'll have the check tomorrow?" He kept repeating that he'll "answer" me tomorrow even though I was sure he was just trying to be a jerk and string me along. Eventually he freaked out and said a number of crazy things:

1. He'll never give me any money back.
2. I should have appreciated that he did me a "favor" by letting me move in, even though I was paying rent.
3. He figured out that I was a "conservative" (I think he meant selfish) person when I kept locking my bedroom door.
4. It's "his" apartment, and I didn't have the right to keep him out of my room.
5. If I was a decent person, I should have offered him extra money during the time in December when no one else had moved in.
6. It's "my fault" girls I never met or spoke to flaked out on moving in last quarter.
7. I can't complain about the 5 people living there because this week "doesn't count" due to a girl being gone for a number of days due to a family funeral.
8. He didn't break the contract by moving in 3 people without my consent. I agreed to rent the room, and never made him promise not to put 5 people in a 1 bedroom apartment. (Hmm, maybe because it's common sense?)
8. He wasn't afraid of me telling the apartment management about his illegal sublets because he's "there legally" so he's safe, but everyone else can get into trouble. (Obviously he doesn't understand how things work).

My fiance showed up, and Odd Guy yelled "I don't know you" and told him to get out because he was not renting there. He slammed the door on my fiance and locked it while I was inside with him. My fiance was afraid he was going to attack me, and told him he was going to call the police. Odd Guy told him to go ahead.

Can you see why I had to leave that day?

I doubt I will get my deposit back, but if it means I never hear from him again, it's worth it. At the moment, he's 100% wrong because he has my money and I don't owe him a dime. Legally, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, especially since he lied to everyone else and told them I was going to move in January anyway. The other roommates are understandably upset about the situation, and are also pessimistic that they will get their deposit back. I will not be surprised if they decide to flee the coop as well.

Unfortunately, Odd Guy has my parents' address because it was printed on my checks. If he contacts me again I think filing restraining order would be a good idea.

Shut Up Little Boy

Vote! Odd Guy has started throwing tantrums like a whiny brat because:
a) No one will go along with his bathroom schedule.
b) All the roommates ignore him.
c) He's a loser who's jealous that he has no friends.
d) All of the above.

The other night, when the new roommates had some friends over and everyone was socializing without him, Odd Guy sat in the living room with his laptop, watching videos at an unusually high volume. No one said anything to him, so he turned the volume up. Unable to get the attention he wanted, he increased the volume again. And again. And again until he was blasting heavy metal, which he never listens to.

No one said, "Please turn it down" so he finally gave up, turned off his computer, and went to sleep.

Just a few minutes ago, Odd Buy berated Male Roommate for having "too many friends over all the time," in the presence of one of these friends. Apparently, we're not allowed to have friends over because they're not renting, and thus using space, electricity, plumbing and other things they're not paying for.

Shut up you cheapo bastard! You live here for free, and turn a profit, and you're begrudging 50 cents of water and gas?

Or maybe you just can't stand that other people have the ability to make people like them.

(Really) Full House aka Freakin' Long Rant

At first I thought my roommate Odd Guy was just socially awkward and shy. I later revised that to weird. Then creepy.

Now I would like to state that he has no idea how normal people function.

I got back from my vacation today to find out that there are FIVE people sleeping in my apartment tonight. FIVE! SIX if Odd Guy shows up. I live in a one bedroom apartment as explained before. How the hell did this happen?

Before Christmas, Odd Guy was looking for a girl to replace the one that flaked. He asked for a copy of the key to my room so he could show it to people while I was gone. He didn't seem to understand why I refused. (The thought of him having access while I slept did not sit well with me). I told him to just let me know when people were coming, and I'd be present or leave my room unlocked.

Instead of asking me when I was available, or telling prospective tenants to call me to set up a time, he would make arrangements, then call me at the lab, saying, "Be here at ____ time today." I declined to leave work every time he snapped his fingers, so one day I decided to leave my room unlocked but the door closed, without telling him. The plan was to say, "Oh my room's open, tell her to go in and take a look" if he called again suddenly.

I received no call that day, but when I went home, I found him in my room.

With a flashlight.

WTF?

I can understand being curious enough to think, "Hey, I wonder what her room looks like" or "Gee, what's on her desk?" It's quite another thing to say, "On the off chance she forgot to lock her door, I'm going to try the doorknob. Oh good! Now, let me go out, get a flashlight from my desk, come back into her room, get down on my hands and knees and look under her bed, or in her underwear drawer."

He even moved around the items in my room. Although the bulk of my items were on "my half," I had some shopping bags, etc. on the other side since the other girl hadn't moved in. Odd Guy moved all those items back to my side. He also pushed a small bureau (that was technically on my half of the room) next to my desk, blocking off my chair. He even opened my closet, took out a box that was on "the other side" and moved it back to my side. He explained, "I don't want the other girl to come and think the room is not good."

She's not stupid! I'm sure she'll figure it out when I say, "Hey, I'll be cleaning up those 2 shopping bags and 1 box before you move in."

After that, I couldn't wait for Christmas vacation to start, and I would have several weeks free of him.

On New Year's Eve he called me, and hung up after the phone rang once. He then texted me, apparently preferring not to speak to a real person. He informed me that I needed to show up on New Year's Day to show the room to a girl.

I said no. He responded with "You should leave the room open while the room is for rent or you lend me the key." So you can rifle through my stuff while I'm gone? No.

On New Year's Day he texted me, letting me know that he found "someone" to rent the room.

I said ok.

The day after, he sent me some vital information he left out. "2 young and small" girls were moving in.

I called and demanded an explanation. Our 9 minute, repetitive conversation can be distilled down to:
Me: "What's going on?"
Odd Guy: "Everything's okay."
Me: "What do you mean two girls are moving in with me?"
OG: "It's okay. They're small people."
Me: "It doesn't matter how short they are! Our agreement was that I would share with one other girl."
OG: "It's okay. You still get half the room."
Me: "But there's two people!"
OG: "You still get half the room."
Me: "How much are they paying."
OG: "You still get half the room."
Me: "How can I have half the room when there's three people?"
OG: "The girls are sharing the other half."
Me: "But there are two girls bringing two beds and two desks and everything else they own.
OG: "You still get half."
Me: "How? Do they only have one bed."
OG: "Yes."
Me: "They're sharing one bed? Are they sisters?"
OG: "You have to understand me."
Me: "Are they related?"
OG: "They know each other."
Me: "How much are they paying?"
OG: "You have half the room."
etc.

As far as I understood at the time, the girls would take over the room completely once I left in mid-February. He rented to them because it would be hard for him to find someone else in the middle of the quarter once I left. I was not happy with the arrangement, but I resigned myself to it because I would be leaving soon, and I felt sorry for the other girls who were international students desperate for a place to live.

Today I came back to find that Odd Guy forgot to tell me that he had rented to an additional male, who was going to share the living room with him. On top of that, that other guy had a friend who was staying "temporarily." (Luckily, he's leaving tomorrow, after having stayed for several days). The girls are also not sharing one bed. They moved in their furniture, and our beds are lined up along one wall, with a tiny bit of room between each. I definitely do not have "half" the room.

In short, while I was away on vacation, Odd Guy interviewed and moved in 3 other people without my consent.

Luckily, the new roommates I met today are sociable and normal. (The flew into the country 5 days ago, and immediately went to look at apartments the next day, hence the haste). Thank goodness Odd Guy did not pick them because he thought they were kindred spirits. However, he's been less than honest with them as well. He told them I was "moving out at the end of the month" when he actuality my agreement is through mid-February.

The apartment is $900 and I'm paying $300. The other 3 new roommates told me they're paying $250 each. That means that Odd Guy is not only living rent-free, but making a profit of $150 a month running an illegal youth hostel.

According to the new people who moved in, he justifies this by saying that after the other roommates move out in June, he has to pay all $900 by himself until the lease ends in September. I'm sure he'll just rent to other people when we move out, and continue his little scheme.

He isn't home yet, so I have not seen him today, or had the chance to beat the pulp out of his skinny, short, ugly, pimply little dried shrimp-eating body.

Take Your Child (and Drama) to Work Day

Note: The nonprofit I was working for lost its funding and I lost my job, but I still have some tales to disgorge so you'll continue to see work stories. (I also do unpaid research in a lab for school, so some "work" stories are from there).

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The building had a "take your child to work day." I was put in charge of making goodie bags with candy and toys, and running the science activities. One of the admin staff was responsible for e-mailing all the parents in the building to let them know about the scheduled fun.

I later found out that Petty Woman selectively e-mailed people she got along with, or whose children were friends with her grandkids. When confronted by other staff she said "it would be too crowded" with too many kids, and arbitrarily capped the number of children allowed to 10. Not surprisingly, her 3 grandkids made the cut.

Since everyone thought that those who organized the activities (not Petty Woman) should be able to say how much was "too much," those who weren't invited brought their children anyway. Besides, if crowding really was an issue, it should have been "first come, first served," not "if I like you."

The kids that came had a great time doing science experiments, and I'm just appalled that someone would try to deprive them because she wasn't buddies with their parents.

By the way, 3 days after the event, Petty Woman told us her granddaughter lost the goodie bag. Instead of telling her, "Too bad; be more responsible with your presents," she guilted us into making a special treat bag for the kid.

I Need to Move

I am officially fed up. Those of you who have been following my blog know about the litany of horrors I've been subjected to at my crappy apartment. My horrible landlord bullied me and my roommates because we were students that were too poor to hire a lawyer and too busy with school to fight a lawsuit.

My landlord lowered the rent in September (for the month of October) because I had no hot water for 12 days and they were afraid I was going to move.

Today Mrs. Landlord called me and says I didn't send her enough rent money for November. "Oh no, you misunderstood. The discount was just for October only. The regular rent applies from now on."

I kept living here because of the discount. She certainly gave me the impression that the discount was permanent because they were selling the house and couldn't get anyone else to rent.

Her husband happened to be at the house when she originally offered me the discount by phone in September. I immediately typed up a revised rental agreement and had her husband sign it because I didn't trust these people. I was right.

The landlady tried to weasel out of our agreement by saying, "I don't know anything about my husband signing any papers."

I gave him a copy to take home. It's not my fault he lost it. I can send you another copy.

"Well, the house is in my name. I take care of everything for the house. He can't make deals with you."

Then why is he willing to sign agreements?

"No, no, the discount is just for October. You need to send me more money now."

That's not fair. By signing, your husband told me I would pay the discounted rate perpetually. If you disagreed, you should have notified me right away, until waiting for me to pay for another month.

Her justification for charging me extra was "Oh woe is me. I have $800 in bills a month and your rent won't cover it."

Your money management problems are not my problem.

She continued to whine, "You know, your water bill was $400."

Um, that's only because you didn't pay for months, until the utility company shut off my water.

"I pay $85 a month so you can have internet."

That's a flat out lie. For $85 a month I should have data packets being delivered to me by cherubs carrying silver platters.

I read her the riot act. I told her the lack of communication between her and her husband was not my problem and I was fully paid for the month. I am not sending her any more rent money.

I'm sure these bastards will "forget" to pay the utilities this month again in retaliation. I'm moving. I would rather live in a cheap motel than deal with people who barge in unannounced. (Earlier this month they sent a repairman over with his own key. He unlocked the door and walked into my apartment without knocking while I was home). I'm going to store my belongings at my parents' house and live with the bare necessities.

Too bad I couldn't have decided this before I paid for November. December will find me in a new address.

Creepo

I'm starting to think my boyfriend's new roommate is a serial killer, or at least someone with severe social phobia.

Silent Boy never speaks to us. When we enter the apartment we can hear him close his bedroom door to avoid us. He has his own bathroom, and keeps food in his room so he doesn't need to leave. Sometimes he's so quiet we don't know he's home. Often, my boyfriend doesn't see him for days. They communicate through notes and checks taped to the doors: "This month's electricity bill is $34.54."

We know he's avoiding us because if Silent Boy comes home while we are already present, he rushes past us and goes into his room without saying hello.

Should I be afraid?

Another Kind of Home Invasion

I came back from Europe about a week ago, but I've been silent due to my internet being cut off. Yes, my landlord "forgot" to pay the internet bill again. (I'm blogging from a friend's house). I was hoping to regale you with tales of my travel adventures, but I've been rather distracted.

I found out yesterday morning that my landlord is trying to sell the house, when a realtor showed up and said, "What? They didn't tell you?"

I stood there in my pajamas as she explained that he's been thinking of selling the house for a while, and she reminded him several times that he needed to notify his tenants. He kept insisting, "Yeah, I told them, but when you go to the house can you pretend you're a repairman or something?"

That bastard. Instead of telling us at the beginning of the summer so we could find new places to live, he decided to squeeze another few months of rent out of us. It didn't matter to him that trying to find an apartment right before school starts, after everyone else has signed their leases and found roommates, is rather difficult.

The newest roommate moved in 2 months ago. I'm sure the landlord knew at that time he was going to sell the house, but why consider the inconvenience to others when you can wring a few dollars from a college student dependent on his financial aid check to pay the rent?

I was suspicious when I came back from Europe and found flowers in the yard, and new carpet in an empty bedroom. I thought, "He's too lazy to fix the porch light but planted new flowers?" It all makes sense now. He's attempting to do last-minute, half-assed repairs. The realtor told him he needed to change all the filthy carpet in the house. He only changed about 1/3. There are now 3 (obviously) different colors and textures of adjoining carpet in the upstairs. The new carpet is lumpy, has huge air pockets, peels up near the walls and has loose nails and staples. It also smells funny.

I've also been requested not to be present when prospective buyers come to see the house. He doesn't want me telling people about the rat infestation problem, the dead air conditioning, the dodgy appliances and the electrical problems. Screw you jackass. I'll play along. I won't be in the house, but it doesn't mean I can't hang out around the driveway. Perhaps I'll let the buyers in and say, "Hi, I'm Snark and I have to go take a walk because they don't want me to talk to you. I'll be around nearby. Thanks!"

If the buyers are smart they'll chase me down and I can let them know to expect $9,000 in repairs the moment they move in. (The dead AC is over 20 years old. Every repairman has said they can patch it, but it'll break down very soon, so they recommend a $9000 replacement. I'm sure the landlord will cheap out and do the patch).

Yes, you heard right. It's been 6 weeks without air-conditioning in the house. There were two heatwaves during this time, with temperatures over 100 degrees.

In the next few weeks I'm supposed to expect a stream of strangers going through my bedroom, poking into my closets. The realtor has informed me that legally I can't "obstruct his fiduciary rights" so I have to accommodate anyone who wants to wander in and steal my stuff, even if I'm not home. (The realtor has keys that she's leaving in an electronic lock box attached to the house, that only "authorized" people can access).

I asked for 24 hours notice any time someone needs to enter, but I'm not optimistic about that. My landlord has shown up in the past unannounced. One time, he brought his son and entered with his own key, without even knocking. He walked in on my roommate, who just came out of the shower wrapped in a towel. There was no apology.

The realtor brought an air-conditioning salesman to the house yesterday to give a repair estimate. He needed to get into the attic through the entry in my bedroom. As usual, a shower of dust, rat feces and plaster came down onto my bed and floor. When I went down to the garage to get the vacuum cleaner to tidy up (yet again) I found out that the landlord took the vacuum. I had to borrow one from a friend in order to make my room livable. Sadly, I expect this to repeat as last-minute repairs continue.

I am worried, but not in panic mode. The housing market is poor, and the greedy jerk has an asking price that's $50,000 to $60,000 too much, according to the realtor. Plus, even if the house sells right now the escrow is going to take one month. I'm thinking of alternate housing options, but homelessness is not imminent.

Supermarket Drama

I have a cousin who has a reputation for being rather foul-mouthed, yet works in customer service. She manages fine, until she meets someone equally combative.

Once, she was passing out free samples of wine as part of a holiday promotion at the grocery store where she worked.

A customer asked, "How much is that wine?"

When my cousin gave him the price, he said, "What? That's too much."

She said, "There's a cheaper kind over there."

The customer decided to take that as a personal insult. "Are you calling me cheap? You don't think I can afford this wine or something?"

When she didn't correct him, he yelled, "Look at you! You must be some kind of uneducated person to work such a degrading job!"

My cousin retorted, "Look at you! You look like you have venereal disease!"

Upon hearing this, the customer flew into a rage. Both he and wife started screaming for a manager, and my cousin started yelling back.

When the manager arrived and asked the other store employees who were witnesses to the outburst what happened, they all said the customer started it.

I supposed "The customer is always right" doesn't apply when you inadvertently insult all the other employees working a "degrading job."

Background Check

I'm applying for a position that requires a background check. A special agent came to my house today to ask me some routine questions. The interview itself went smoothly and I have nothing in particular to say about it.

However, what happened right before the interview was a perfect example of someone being too persistent.

I opened the door to the Agent and offered him a seat. Before he even sat down, a teenage boy came and knocked on my front door. The Agent said, "I have no idea who that is."

The teen said, "Hey I'm knockin' on neighbors' doors, tryin' to get enough points." (One of his cohorts had already come by earlier, trying to sell magazines, solicit subscription donations for children's shelters, and earn enough points for a prize).

I said, "Sorry, but someone else already came by."

"But I didn't see a bug-off tag," he whined.

"What?"

He explained, "You're supposed to get a door tag that shows you were already visited."

I thought, "Do you think I'm lying to you?" but said, "I didn't get one. Sorry, but I already gave a donation." (Bug-off kid).

"Did you know it's illegal to solicit donations?" (Then what the hell are you doing?)

"I don't mean to be rude, but I'm in the middle of a job interview."

The teen peeked in and saw the Agent. "Oh, is he interviewing you right now?"

"Yes."

Rather than leaving, despite having been given 3 very good reasons to do so, the teen said, "Hey man, do you want to help me get some points?"

The Agent declined.

I wanted to say, "Sorry, but my employment prospects are more important than you getting a bike," but that would have been rude.

Instead, I politely expressed my disinterest again. As I was shutting the door he yelled, "I'll be back in ten minutes!"

Thankfully, he did not come back.

What cheek.

Overheard on the Bus

I was sitting on the bus today when a nearby bicyclist (who was riding on the sidewalk) pushed aside a pedestrian who was apparently walking too slowly, or in his way.

The bus driver began screaming, "Did you see that? That guy on the bike! Did you see that guy? He pushed that girl on the sidewalk! I wish I could run him over! If that was my sister I'd give him a beat down!"

He then began a long string of what I assume were Spanish curse words.