I Need to Move

I am officially fed up. Those of you who have been following my blog know about the litany of horrors I've been subjected to at my crappy apartment. My horrible landlord bullied me and my roommates because we were students that were too poor to hire a lawyer and too busy with school to fight a lawsuit.

My landlord lowered the rent in September (for the month of October) because I had no hot water for 12 days and they were afraid I was going to move.

Today Mrs. Landlord called me and says I didn't send her enough rent money for November. "Oh no, you misunderstood. The discount was just for October only. The regular rent applies from now on."

I kept living here because of the discount. She certainly gave me the impression that the discount was permanent because they were selling the house and couldn't get anyone else to rent.

Her husband happened to be at the house when she originally offered me the discount by phone in September. I immediately typed up a revised rental agreement and had her husband sign it because I didn't trust these people. I was right.

The landlady tried to weasel out of our agreement by saying, "I don't know anything about my husband signing any papers."

I gave him a copy to take home. It's not my fault he lost it. I can send you another copy.

"Well, the house is in my name. I take care of everything for the house. He can't make deals with you."

Then why is he willing to sign agreements?

"No, no, the discount is just for October. You need to send me more money now."

That's not fair. By signing, your husband told me I would pay the discounted rate perpetually. If you disagreed, you should have notified me right away, until waiting for me to pay for another month.

Her justification for charging me extra was "Oh woe is me. I have $800 in bills a month and your rent won't cover it."

Your money management problems are not my problem.

She continued to whine, "You know, your water bill was $400."

Um, that's only because you didn't pay for months, until the utility company shut off my water.

"I pay $85 a month so you can have internet."

That's a flat out lie. For $85 a month I should have data packets being delivered to me by cherubs carrying silver platters.

I read her the riot act. I told her the lack of communication between her and her husband was not my problem and I was fully paid for the month. I am not sending her any more rent money.

I'm sure these bastards will "forget" to pay the utilities this month again in retaliation. I'm moving. I would rather live in a cheap motel than deal with people who barge in unannounced. (Earlier this month they sent a repairman over with his own key. He unlocked the door and walked into my apartment without knocking while I was home). I'm going to store my belongings at my parents' house and live with the bare necessities.

Too bad I couldn't have decided this before I paid for November. December will find me in a new address.

Extreme Recycling

Since the economy started going into the tank, people have been swapping Great Depression stories in the lab.

One lady's great-aunt survived the Depression through intense frugality, which she still practices today. She refuses to throw away anything that could be of use again, including greeting cards.

When my labmate graduated high school her great-aunt sent her a card that said "Congratulations on graduating from nursing school!"

The elderly woman carefully crossed out "nursing" and wrote "high" underneath it.

She also blotted out the name of the previous recipient of the card, and wrote my friend's name over it.

I'm Still Melting

I woke up at 2 AM last night and realized I was not sweating, despite the intense heat. I was that dehydrated. I made myself drink 3 glasses of water before trying to go back to sleep. Instead, I kept thinking, "Even if the portable cooling unit worked (which it doesn't), it roars too loudly to allow sweet sweet slumber."

My landlord has yet to call me back regarding my air conditioning situation. When I agreed it was okay for him to buy a new AC system, instead of repairing the old one, I did not mean "Hey, drop a glorified fan at my door and drive off."

The cooling unit and the fans he left for my roommate look new, like he just bought them. I hope he is having trouble obtaining equipment, and bought these for us to use temporarily, out of the goodness of his heart (which I am deeply cynical about). I am paranoid that the actual motive is, "Here's your damn AC. Now shut up."

Dude, at least call me back and tell me if this is your idea of a permanent "fix" or not.

I'm Melting

I am miserable. There is a heat wave in my town this week. It's been 110 degrees for the past two days, and my air conditioner is broken.

Yesterday, my landlord sent an AC repairman to my house. Apparently, the AC guy is very busy, because he couldn't even give me a 2-hour window. I was told "We'll call you right before we come over." I had to sit at home in the sweltering heat, NOT making money at work, waiting for him to show up.

The AC guy examined the central air conditioning system, and said it needed over $2000 worth of repairs. He called my landlord to make sure he would pay for it, and got a big fat "No."

The AC is very old, and has been fixed before, so the landlord was afraid he would pay for repairs, only to have it break down again. The landlord called me and said he would put in a brand new system instead.

I thought this was reasonable, as long as he came the very next day (today). I was nervous about him cheaping out, and trying to install it himself, but I was desperate for the ability to wear clothing indoors, especially since I live on the second floor.

Today, I worked overtime at work to make up for yesterday's lack of hours, but also to linger in the cool building as long as I could. I imagined coming home to a nice, chilly house.

I was naive.

When I got home I found a portable air conditioning unit outside my bedroom door. Yes, the kind you plug into the wall.

I tried it out, only to find that it vented very hot air through the back, sides and top, thus negating the cool air flowing out the front. I realized it was the type that you put underneath a sliding window. Unfortunately, my window slides open left to right, not up and down.

I put it on my skinny window ledge, propping up the inside edge with a desk and 3 cardboard boxes. I used wall paper and duct tape to seal up the large exposed portion of the window above the AC unit.

Because I had a screen on the window, I could not push the unit out far enough. Hot air from the side and top vents was still blowing into my room. Plus, the AC started to leak large amounts of liquid from the bottom. When I tried to move the AC large amounts splashed out. I really hope my carpet is not soaked with Freon.

I've been running an electric fan that pushes the hot air around the room. I am not looking forward to my energy bill at the end of the month.

I've called the landlord's cell phone and home number 3 times and left 2 messages, telling him about the AC and asking if this was just a temporary measure. I have not received a response. I am horrified to think that he might consider this a good "fix" for my problem. I hope he doesn't say "you agreed I could put in a new AC unit not a new AC system that cools the whole house and not just your bedroom."

Snark is mad.

Run If This Guy Asks You Out

My friend's ex-boyfriend has something called a "girlfriend closet." How thoughtful, right?

No. It is incredibly creepy:

1. This is not simply space he sets aside, in case his lady wants to leave items at his apartment. This is an actual collection of clothing.

2. The clothes aren't gifts. They are for his girlfriends to wear -- only while they are dating him.

3. They aren't cast-offs from previous flings. He buys clothes to add to the girlfriend closet, if it's something he wants to see his girl wear.

4. All the clothes are in the same general size range (like his girlfriends).

5. If a current girlfriend tells him a particular item is gross and she won't wear it, he doesn't throw it away. He puts it aside for a future paramour.

6. When a relationship sours, he doesn't start over with a fresh wardrobe. He asks his next girlfriend to wear the same clothes the old girlfriend did.

My friend and I are thinking of donating some hideous clothes to the closet, so girls dating the creepo will be repulsed. He's so cheap if we left a bag marked "free" outside his home, he would actually go through it and select some items for the girlfriend closet.

The Cheapest Package

Random high school memory:

For prom my school hired a professional studio to take photos, for a fee. Different photo packages were available, with the cost dependent on the number and size of photos.

When my friend "Jenny" and her date reached the front of the line, her date said to the photographer, without any hesitation,"The cheapest package, please!"

Yes, that's what he said. Loudly enough for people much further back in line to hear him. (How do you think I found out about this?)

Mr. Date, I appreciate your lack of shame. And I understand you were in high school and didn't have a lot of money. But would it have killed you to take 3 seconds, look at the price list and say, "I'll take package A" ?

Chocolate Fix

For those of you that do not celebrate February 14 (Single Awareness Day), blessed be the day of February 15:

The Festival of Half-Priced Chocolates.

Dollar Store Wine

My roommate had a visitor who decided to bring a gift of several bottles of wine. He proudly told everyone that he bought them at the dollar store. He seemed somewhat surprised that the bottles were still full when he left. ("I was trying to impress everyone with my thriftiness.")

The wine was from Africa and the bottle said it had hints of "gooseberries, green figs and asparagus."

Yes, asparagus.

I don't know anything about wine but I still think something is wrong with that flavor combination.