Snark Scribe

Not all of us can meet people of quality

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Most Memorable Tupperware Party Ever

My boss was invited to a Tupperware party that charged an admission price of $5. She was confused, but assumed everyone was being asked to chip in for food.

She realized she was wrong when the Fedex delivery man showed up later that night for a "special delivery."

I'll give you a moment to figure it out.

Indeed, the "Fedex" guy took out a boombox and started stripping off his clothes. The $5 (times 30 people) was used to pay for his performance. A number of women also put cash tips into the box he had tied around his waist.

It was a very successful party. Apparently the stripper put the women in the mood to buy a lot of Tupperware.

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Monday, August 27, 2007


Two of my friends recently announced they were getting married (not to each other) in June 2008. There was a brief moment of panic at the dinner party when everyone asked "Which weekend?" and then a sigh of relief (especially from both brides) when the dates turned out to be non-conflicting.

One bride then regaled us with the tale of her engagement, which did not involve a proposal.


Her mother asked her boyfriend in a teasing manner, "So when are you guys getting married?"

He replied calmly, "Next summer."

My friend yelled, "There's an answer?"

"Yeah." He maintained his calm.

"But shouldn't we get engaged first?"

"I thought we already were."

My friend accepted this with, "I need to start planning!" (I probably would have responded with, "So where's my damn ring?")

She got her ring a little while later. It was custom-made and set with stones from jewelry from her family. Her fiancé loves the ring. His comment was "Yeah! It looks like I'm making money!"

Although nontraditional, now they have an amusing story to tell the grandchildren.

By the way, that's not the most unromantic "proposal" I've heard of. Someone told me he asked his girlfriend to marry him while they were at Round Table Pizza. Although he didn't say so, I believe there's a distinct possibility he was wearing his Star Wars tie at the time.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Wedding Dress of Doom

Holy Crayola, when I saw this bride I thought her billowing gown looked like a nuclear mushroom cloud.

Note to brides: When you need to crawl into your limo on your stomach, and lie on the floor, your gown is TOO DAMN BIG.

And also, if you plan to use a spray-tanner, go to a professional tanning salon. Do not attack your face with a can of Instant-Oompa-Loompa. You'll look like this.

I'm afraid her wedding party isn't dressed much better either.

I've decided that the neon pink and green nuptials I blogged about before no longer constitute the tackiest wedding ever.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Hobo Hideout

Yes, some more amusing wireless network names I've encountered during my travels:

Hobo Hideout



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I Have Returned

I have returned to my baseline level of semi-calm and bustling. Instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I am now more like a walking chicken. Strolling, even.

I shall soon disgorge some pent-up stories and what-not. I have a number of photos to edit and upload, too, but I'm afraid you won't see them here. But if you encounter a Flickr account with 13,000 hits, it might be me.

Um, no, I don't run a porn site. I just like elaborate costumes.


Monday, August 06, 2007

Going on Hiatus

Hello Readers,

I'm having an insanely busy time. I'll be back when things settle, and will talk about the things I'm doing after I finish moving, going to a job interview, studying for an oral exam, fulfilling jury duty, going to a friend's graduation party, attending a historical picnic, preparing for teacher workshops, submitting my research proposal, dealing with my whacked out roommate and the guy (who looks like a convicted felon) she chose to take her place, getting my deposit back and trying to find sleep.

I hope to accomplish all this in the span of 2 weeks.

Don't worry about me if I'm silent here and on your blogs. See you at the end of the tunnel.