Snark Scribe

Not all of us can meet people of quality

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Power of Marketing

My boss spent time in Ethiopia, where some of the citizens gave themselves English names, in addition to their ethnic birth names. However, due to the fact that English was not their first language, they had trouble distinguishing between names for people, and names for things.

My boss met a woman who introduced herself by saying, "Hi, you can call me Pepsi!"

I think she'd get along quite well with the little girl named Diot Coke.

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Chugging Along

The state has changed its mind, and it appears hiring is on again.

Fingers crossed.


Friday, April 24, 2009

Poor Government

I am currently job hunting at a time that seems less than ideal.

I just found out that the state position I interviewed for 2 months ago, and went through a background check for, has been eliminated due to a lack of funds.

The county job I interviewed for last year, and that I was the top candidate for, is on hiatus due to a lack of funds.

The city job I applied for has also had all interviews cancelled due to a lack of funds.

What the hell is happening?

I spent yesterday looking at jobs online, and it's definitely a desperate market that favors the employer. Some positions are asking for 5-7 years industry experience, when a couple years ago they were looking for 3-4. I saw some jobs that could be done by someone with a Master's degree, or a Bachelor's degree and some experience, that now require a PhD.

I applied for a job yesterday that asked applicants to include their preferred salary range with their resume. Once you submitted your information online, you received an automated message reminding you that you would not be considered if you did not include this information.

I can understand a job listing only providing an approximate pay range, or stating "salary dependent on experience" but to force someone to give a figure prior to the interview (and finding out the exact job duties) strikes me as a bit shady. I feel the employer is hoping someone will lowball themselves and they can save some money on the salary.

I suppose this is common for office positions, but in my past experience science jobs were always upfront with their payscale.

I spent $40,000 out of my own pocket for my Master's degree. I hope I get something back eventually.


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Poor Perseus

I originally read this particular Craiglist ad a while ago, but I've rediscovered it and it's good for a laugh each time. Each person I show it to reads it and makes funny faces that show their growing horror at the laundry list of desirable and very specific qualities this man requires in his ideal girlfriend. When I scroll to the bottom of the ad where the would-be Romeo has a picture of himself, everyone says "Ough!" without fail. He doesn't seem like a bad person, but doesn't understand that in the cruel world of dating, if you're trying to hook a hot girl, you shouldn't post a red-faced, double-chinned photo of yourself grimacing in a science t-shirt.

Perseus is looking for love. He says he likes "my women with some meat on them" but requires his ideal woman to be no larger than 115 pounds. (My female friends think he's looking for a dwarf).

He's specifically looking for Asian women, but prefers "Nihonese," which is another way of saying "I'm a Wapanese tard."

He's 22, but okay with dating 16-year olds, possibly because women his age know better.

He wants someone with a "Traditional Ladies' education" which means needlework and French to me, but I think he's looking for subservience.

A bonus is if his lady love owns a "Large collection of animé and manga" so he can borrow her cartoon DVDs and comic books and "enjoy delving into the myriad artistic realities of animé."

Perseus also wants to make sure you understand he's not looking for a " 'fling' as though I were a boy toy to be tossed aside."

Sorry, I don't think you will be a boy toy anytime soon.

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Monday, April 06, 2009

Rainbow Bridesmaids

A friend of mine was drafted as a bridesmaid in a rainbow-themed wedding. The plan was to have 7 bridesmaids, each dressed in a different color of the rainbow.

Some other women called dibs on blue and red first. My friend was left with orange.

Furthermore, all the dresses were trimmed with black accents.

She looked like a Jack-O-Lantern at the wedding.

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Saturday, April 04, 2009

April Fools Recap

I was amused by Google's yearly Aprils Fool's Day joke: The Gmail Autopilot.

I assumed everyone else would catch on that it was fake, especially after reading the letter to the Nigerian scammer Prince Eboh, but that was not the case. A friend told me her husband spent half an hour trying to set it up, then got really mad when he found it was a fraud. (The fact that his wife laughed until she couldn't breathe probably contributed to his unhappiness).

I did fall for one joke. An old classmate announced on Facebook that he was engaged. He had told some people earlier that his parents were introducing him to an Indian girl that week, so everyone assumed it was an arranged marriage that worked out. After garnering many congratulations he told us it was a lie. I think he cheated because he announced the engagement March 31.

I'll get you next year!