Snark Scribe

Not all of us can meet people of quality

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Terrible Name for Your Child

A co-worker told me a story about a class he took in college. On the first day, the professor called roll. As he read off the list of names he reached one that gave him pause.

"Um," he said hesitantly, "I'm not sure how this is pronounced so I'll say it the way it's spelled. Is there a Shithead here?"

A girl stood up and said, "Professor, it's pronounced Shuh-theed."

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Leering and Staring

At work we had to attend a sexual harassment prevention seminar. The speaker gave a Powerpoint presentation. One of the slides contained a list of inappropriate behavior, such as touching, gestures, leering and staring.

The speaker told us that in a previous class a creeper said, "What? Leering and staring isn't sexual harassment! I do it all the time!"

When met with shock, the creeper asked the speaker, "Come on, don't you leer and stare?" The answer was no.

At the end of class the creeper wrote "If you don't leer you're queer" on the seminar evaluation form, and signed his full name.

The idiot does not work for the department anymore.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Stupid Arguments

I witnessed a man and a woman debating the merits of holes of different sizes. (I have no idea how this started). The woman was in favor of small holes while the man preferred large ones.

Woman: "Yeah but large holes are like pot holes. It isn't cool to be driving and have your car go off the road because of some big ass hole in front of you."

Man: "Hahaha. And tiger holes, don't they have spikes on the bottom?"

Woman: "There's a low probability you'll step into a gopher hole but if you do you'll sprain your ankle."

Man: "Then you'd have to be put to sleep."

They both laughed and then discussed snake pits.

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Monday, August 03, 2009

Shiny

In the area I live in, a mortgage is cheaper than rent, so my fiance and I are hoping to buy a home. Our realtor's assistant picked up some paperwork from us the other day. He drove up in a brand new Porsche that still had the dealer's sticker.

While we were in the parking lot together, a number of people walked by and openly admired the car.

If even the realtor's assistant can afford a shiny new sports car, I think the current housing market must be treating agents very well.