A Free Show

At work, one of the student employees was trying to give away tickets to a male strip show. She could not convince anyone to take them.

The previous week she was at a bar, and one of the bouncers gave her the tickets. When she read what was printed on them, she burst into giggles.

The bouncer said grimly, "Don't laugh. It's a good show."

We thought, "How good can the show be if it's free?"

We tried to talk the men in the lab into going, but unfortunately the show was for female audiences only.

That is so unfair. Gay men want to see strippers too!

A Poorly Thought-Out Invitation

In college I met a guy whose nickname was H.B. (which stood for Horny Boy). It should have been Slackjawed Idiot (but that's going to be another post).

He once tried to convince me to go to a party that frankly, sounded like a gathering of losers. His main selling point was, "We're going to do stupid stuff, like play spin the bottle."

"Sorry," I said, "that doesn't appeal to me. (Spin the bottle? What are you, like 12?)

When I expressed reluctance he grew desperate.

"There's going to be strippers there!" he exclaimed.

"Um, no thank you please." (I don't want to see that).

"I'm one of them!"

For a moment I thought he was joking, then I realized he was in absolute earnest.

"No, I'm not going to the party." (Are you serious? You look like the offspring of Drew Carey and a manatee! I do NOT want to see you in a thong!)

Male strippers are supposed to wiggle, not jiggle.

Most Memorable Tupperware Party Ever

My boss was invited to a Tupperware party that charged an admission price of $5. She was confused, but assumed everyone was being asked to chip in for food.

She realized she was wrong when the Fedex delivery man showed up later that night for a "special delivery."

I'll give you a moment to figure it out.

Indeed, the "Fedex" guy took out a boombox and started stripping off his clothes. The $5 (times 30 people) was used to pay for his performance. A number of women also put cash tips into the box he had tied around his waist.

It was a very successful party. Apparently the stripper put the women in the mood to buy a lot of Tupperware.