A Poorly Thought-Out Invitation

In college I met a guy whose nickname was H.B. (which stood for Horny Boy). It should have been Slackjawed Idiot (but that's going to be another post).

He once tried to convince me to go to a party that frankly, sounded like a gathering of losers. His main selling point was, "We're going to do stupid stuff, like play spin the bottle."

"Sorry," I said, "that doesn't appeal to me. (Spin the bottle? What are you, like 12?)

When I expressed reluctance he grew desperate.

"There's going to be strippers there!" he exclaimed.

"Um, no thank you please." (I don't want to see that).

"I'm one of them!"

For a moment I thought he was joking, then I realized he was in absolute earnest.

"No, I'm not going to the party." (Are you serious? You look like the offspring of Drew Carey and a manatee! I do NOT want to see you in a thong!)

Male strippers are supposed to wiggle, not jiggle.