Sorry J. M. Barrie

Overheard on the bus (during a conversation between two women in their 20s):

"I'm reading Peter Pan right now. It's really different from the Disney movie. There's all this stuff about Peter Pan being a baby, and not wanting to grow up. Did you know, the guy who wrote Peter Pan was a dwarf?"

"Oh, like those primordial dwarfs?"

"Yeah, the ones that only grow to 3 feet tall? I bet that's why he wrote Peter Pan. Because he couldn't grow up himself."

"Wow."

(I bet she thinks Mark Twain was a pro wrestler, too).

Do I Have a Dirty Mind?

On the bus, I caught snippets of two men talking about "your tranny" and "hard on."

I finally realized they were referring to a car's transmission as a "tranny," and discussing certain driving behaviors that wore out your car's transmission.

Um, Not Sure You Get It . . .

Overheard on the bus, about 8:30 AM:

Guy: "Where are you going?"
Girl: "Physics class. I failed it so I have to take it over the summer."
Guy: "Oh that sucks."
Girl: "The lecture started at 8, but I already took the class so I know the stuff, you know?"

A Joyful Busdriver

My bus today was about a block away from its next stop when we saw a couple running towards the next stop, with the fellow dragging his smaller and slower girlfriend by the hand. Presumably, they were hoping to get there before the bus arrived and left.

The bus driver yelled, "I love it when people run like that! Look at them! I'm going to slow down and give them hope."

He slowed the bus down, then speeded up, the slowed down again, while laughing. "My dad make me work for my car; I'm going to make them work for this!"

Overheard on the Bus

College-age female: "He bought me a car. It's a Ford Taurus. It's white. Yeah, we should tint the windows and make it a Mafia car."

Engineers on the Bus

I was on the bus (yes that happens a lot) and I sat near 3 men, all of them engineers. One was "fixing" a retractable pen using a large Leatherman pocket knife.

His cohort, who had slightly more common sense, asked, "Is that safe? If the bus were to crash you'd lurch forward and stab Terry."

The man with the knife replied, "I'd never stab Terry. I'd stab myself first." Then he continued shaving little pieces of plastic off the pen as the bus rattled down the highway.

(If you're curious, during the rest of the 20 minute ride their conversation jumped between varied topics such as eigenvalues, solving matrices, how to spot a future engineer in elementary school by his proclivity towards pen disassembly, and how "crusty" umbilical cords give them "the willies," although changing diapers are okay).

Overheard on the Bus

Overly Excitable Woman: "So I hear you're getting married to Sherri."

Calm Groom: "Yes, we're getting married."

OEW: "Oh my god, that's great! I love Sherri! She's such a sweetheart! You're going to be so happy! Sherri's a great gal! She's wonderful! I love Sherri! Oh my god!"

CG: "Yes, it's the most stress-free relationship I've ever been in."

OEW: "She's great isn't she? I love her! Well, obviously in a less carnal way than you, but yeah! I love Sherri! She's wonderful! It's great you're getting married!"

CG: "Yes."

OEW: "So do you like her kids?"

CG: "I haven't met them yet."

OEW: "What? That's not right."

CG: "Well, they're in L.A."

OEW: "No, they're not. They live with her."

CG: "No, they don't."

(pause)

OEW: "Are we talking about the same Sherri?"

CG: "I don't think so."

Overheard on the Bus

I was sitting on the bus today when a nearby bicyclist (who was riding on the sidewalk) pushed aside a pedestrian who was apparently walking too slowly, or in his way.

The bus driver began screaming, "Did you see that? That guy on the bike! Did you see that guy? He pushed that girl on the sidewalk! I wish I could run him over! If that was my sister I'd give him a beat down!"

He then began a long string of what I assume were Spanish curse words.