Couchsurfing

It's been a nomadic week for me. I have my belongings split between several places so I don't have to annoy any particular friend for more than several nights at a time, especially if they're a couple who wants some "alone" time.

Odd Guy has tried contacting me 3 times since I left. I am very suspicious about his motives.

His first text message was the day after I moved out, and was a polite offer to let me move back in. It was very uncharacteristic of him to use words like "thank you," especially after throwing a fit just 24 hours before, so I ignored the message. Besides, why the hell would I move back in?

Several hours later, he said "come back to the apartment and I'll give you your deposit." My first thought was "It's a trap!" I assumed he meant that he would give me back my money if I moved back in, due to his first message. I wasn't that desperate for cash.

I talked to one of the other roommates, who told me they planned to move out too, so perhaps Odd Guy was trying to recruit me back.

The day after that he sent another message, saying that if I moved out my bed (which I gave away to one of the other roommates), and changed the lock on my bedroom door back to the original unlockable doorknob, he'd refund my deposit.

I called the girls because obviously, they wouldn't want me giving the keys to him while they were still living there. I've called them twice but they haven't responded, and it's been days. I think that since they're moving, they don't want the bed, and are afraid to tell me.

My parents insist that we should go and get rid of the bed, change the doorknob, and leave him the keys this weekend to wash our hands of the matter.

I really, really would rather not go back, but I don't want him to call me again when the girls move out, or when his lease expires.

Hopefully he will be gone since this is a 3-day weekend, and my family can settle things in peace. I'm not going to bother making an appointment with him because I don't really believe he will give me any money, and I don't care anyway.

Drama Central

I'm going to be couch-surfing for the next month. I could not stay at my old apartment anymore. Odd Guy got too psycho, and I had an emergency move yesterday. My dad and boyfriend moved most of my belongings to my parents' house, and I'm staying with friends and the bare necessities.

There's a lot of gritty details, and I'm still digesting, but the major points are:

Odd Guy got progressively crazier this week, and more angry we didn't go along with his control freak plans. The last straw for me was when I caught him putting pubic hair on my towel on Thursday night to retaliate. I didn't confront him because I didn't want him to completely freak out and vandalize all my things before I moved out. I stayed with a friend Friday night.

On Saturday morning, I told him I was planning to move out with a friend. I tried to be casual, non-accusatory and "played dumb." I said, "I'd just rather live with a friend. You don't need to pro-rate January rent; just give me the deposit and I'll be gone, thanks."

He refused and said "I'll give you my answer tomorrow." I asked him, "Oh gee, does that mean you'll have the check tomorrow?" He kept repeating that he'll "answer" me tomorrow even though I was sure he was just trying to be a jerk and string me along. Eventually he freaked out and said a number of crazy things:

1. He'll never give me any money back.
2. I should have appreciated that he did me a "favor" by letting me move in, even though I was paying rent.
3. He figured out that I was a "conservative" (I think he meant selfish) person when I kept locking my bedroom door.
4. It's "his" apartment, and I didn't have the right to keep him out of my room.
5. If I was a decent person, I should have offered him extra money during the time in December when no one else had moved in.
6. It's "my fault" girls I never met or spoke to flaked out on moving in last quarter.
7. I can't complain about the 5 people living there because this week "doesn't count" due to a girl being gone for a number of days due to a family funeral.
8. He didn't break the contract by moving in 3 people without my consent. I agreed to rent the room, and never made him promise not to put 5 people in a 1 bedroom apartment. (Hmm, maybe because it's common sense?)
8. He wasn't afraid of me telling the apartment management about his illegal sublets because he's "there legally" so he's safe, but everyone else can get into trouble. (Obviously he doesn't understand how things work).

My fiance showed up, and Odd Guy yelled "I don't know you" and told him to get out because he was not renting there. He slammed the door on my fiance and locked it while I was inside with him. My fiance was afraid he was going to attack me, and told him he was going to call the police. Odd Guy told him to go ahead.

Can you see why I had to leave that day?

I doubt I will get my deposit back, but if it means I never hear from him again, it's worth it. At the moment, he's 100% wrong because he has my money and I don't owe him a dime. Legally, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, especially since he lied to everyone else and told them I was going to move in January anyway. The other roommates are understandably upset about the situation, and are also pessimistic that they will get their deposit back. I will not be surprised if they decide to flee the coop as well.

Unfortunately, Odd Guy has my parents' address because it was printed on my checks. If he contacts me again I think filing restraining order would be a good idea.

Shut Up Little Boy

Vote! Odd Guy has started throwing tantrums like a whiny brat because:
a) No one will go along with his bathroom schedule.
b) All the roommates ignore him.
c) He's a loser who's jealous that he has no friends.
d) All of the above.

The other night, when the new roommates had some friends over and everyone was socializing without him, Odd Guy sat in the living room with his laptop, watching videos at an unusually high volume. No one said anything to him, so he turned the volume up. Unable to get the attention he wanted, he increased the volume again. And again. And again until he was blasting heavy metal, which he never listens to.

No one said, "Please turn it down" so he finally gave up, turned off his computer, and went to sleep.

Just a few minutes ago, Odd Buy berated Male Roommate for having "too many friends over all the time," in the presence of one of these friends. Apparently, we're not allowed to have friends over because they're not renting, and thus using space, electricity, plumbing and other things they're not paying for.

Shut up you cheapo bastard! You live here for free, and turn a profit, and you're begrudging 50 cents of water and gas?

Or maybe you just can't stand that other people have the ability to make people like them.

Toilet Nazi

Odd Guy isn't just a greedy little bastard, he's a control freak.

Today, he asked to talk to me privately in my room. l left the door open and spoke loudly enough for the rest of the roommates to hear.

Odd Guy had a spreadsheet and said he wanted to schedule our bathroom times in half-hour blocks. He insisted it was necessary because we had 5 people in one apartment. (Who's fault is that?)

He wanted to institute several rules:
1. No one is allowed to shower in the morning.
2. You must only use your scheduled time in the morning.
3. If it's not your time you can't use the bathroom, even if it's empty, just in case the person who "owns" the time wants it.

Obviously, I was not enthusiastic about this idea.

He put himself down for 7 AM - 7:30 AM and asked me what time I needed. I said, "All of us need to talk about this together."

He said, "Yeah, I'll talk to everyone else afterwards."

I said, "We should all talk to everyone, because what if people want the same time?"

He responded with "Don't worry, you get to pick first." (I think he was trying to be "nice" because he sensed that I have the ability to lead a mutiny. I've used the past 24 hours to be my charming self and become super-chummy with the other roommates, especially in his presence. They invited me to dinner with them tonight, but left him out of the plans).

I left the bedroom and announced, "He wants to schedule our bathroom times." Everyone looked at him like he was a zoo creature.

He kept pointing to his spreadsheet and insisting what a good and necessary idea it was. We tried to explain calmly and rationally that 30 minutes is a really long time to camp out in the bathroom continuously. We are (mostly) reasonable people, and if someone yells "I have to brush my teeth and get to class in 10 minutes!" no one is going to insist on taking a long bath and waxing their legs at that moment. Also, if someone needs to take up the bathroom for 2 minutes just to pee, it's stupid to make them wait for "their time" just in case someone else needs it.

Odd Guy didn't believe us. He said, "You won't just take 2 minutes."

This morning, Odd Guy wasn't home, and the rest of us had no problem being courteous together and having things work out. However, cooperation is apparently foreign concept to Odd Guy. We finally got him to drop the topic (temporarily) by saying that this is the first week of class and not everyone's schedule is set. I suggested that since we did not have a problem this morning, there was a very good chance we would not have a problem in the future so severe we needed scheduling. If two people woke up one morning at the same time, and one was running very late, the two people could talk it out.

I'm sure Odd Guy is pissed at me right now for thwarting his control freak plans. The other roommates revealed to me that they had asked for my phone number prior to moving in, so they could talk to me, and he refused to give it to them. He also lied to them about how soon I am moving out, and said, "Don't worry, I can kick her out any time."

I definitely am not in love with living at the apartment, and would like to get out as soon as possible, but I still need to finish school. If Odd Guy tries to carry out his threat, I'll remind him that he wouldn't want the landlord to know about his unauthorized subletting scheme.

Sidenote: While talking to my sister about him, I referred to him as an ugly twisted gnome. My sister thinks I should call him Ugly Twisted Individual. Given his bathroom fixation, perhaps UTI is a fitting name.

(Really) Full House aka Freakin' Long Rant

At first I thought my roommate Odd Guy was just socially awkward and shy. I later revised that to weird. Then creepy.

Now I would like to state that he has no idea how normal people function.

I got back from my vacation today to find out that there are FIVE people sleeping in my apartment tonight. FIVE! SIX if Odd Guy shows up. I live in a one bedroom apartment as explained before. How the hell did this happen?

Before Christmas, Odd Guy was looking for a girl to replace the one that flaked. He asked for a copy of the key to my room so he could show it to people while I was gone. He didn't seem to understand why I refused. (The thought of him having access while I slept did not sit well with me). I told him to just let me know when people were coming, and I'd be present or leave my room unlocked.

Instead of asking me when I was available, or telling prospective tenants to call me to set up a time, he would make arrangements, then call me at the lab, saying, "Be here at ____ time today." I declined to leave work every time he snapped his fingers, so one day I decided to leave my room unlocked but the door closed, without telling him. The plan was to say, "Oh my room's open, tell her to go in and take a look" if he called again suddenly.

I received no call that day, but when I went home, I found him in my room.

With a flashlight.

WTF?

I can understand being curious enough to think, "Hey, I wonder what her room looks like" or "Gee, what's on her desk?" It's quite another thing to say, "On the off chance she forgot to lock her door, I'm going to try the doorknob. Oh good! Now, let me go out, get a flashlight from my desk, come back into her room, get down on my hands and knees and look under her bed, or in her underwear drawer."

He even moved around the items in my room. Although the bulk of my items were on "my half," I had some shopping bags, etc. on the other side since the other girl hadn't moved in. Odd Guy moved all those items back to my side. He also pushed a small bureau (that was technically on my half of the room) next to my desk, blocking off my chair. He even opened my closet, took out a box that was on "the other side" and moved it back to my side. He explained, "I don't want the other girl to come and think the room is not good."

She's not stupid! I'm sure she'll figure it out when I say, "Hey, I'll be cleaning up those 2 shopping bags and 1 box before you move in."

After that, I couldn't wait for Christmas vacation to start, and I would have several weeks free of him.

On New Year's Eve he called me, and hung up after the phone rang once. He then texted me, apparently preferring not to speak to a real person. He informed me that I needed to show up on New Year's Day to show the room to a girl.

I said no. He responded with "You should leave the room open while the room is for rent or you lend me the key." So you can rifle through my stuff while I'm gone? No.

On New Year's Day he texted me, letting me know that he found "someone" to rent the room.

I said ok.

The day after, he sent me some vital information he left out. "2 young and small" girls were moving in.

I called and demanded an explanation. Our 9 minute, repetitive conversation can be distilled down to:
Me: "What's going on?"
Odd Guy: "Everything's okay."
Me: "What do you mean two girls are moving in with me?"
OG: "It's okay. They're small people."
Me: "It doesn't matter how short they are! Our agreement was that I would share with one other girl."
OG: "It's okay. You still get half the room."
Me: "But there's two people!"
OG: "You still get half the room."
Me: "How much are they paying."
OG: "You still get half the room."
Me: "How can I have half the room when there's three people?"
OG: "The girls are sharing the other half."
Me: "But there are two girls bringing two beds and two desks and everything else they own.
OG: "You still get half."
Me: "How? Do they only have one bed."
OG: "Yes."
Me: "They're sharing one bed? Are they sisters?"
OG: "You have to understand me."
Me: "Are they related?"
OG: "They know each other."
Me: "How much are they paying?"
OG: "You have half the room."
etc.

As far as I understood at the time, the girls would take over the room completely once I left in mid-February. He rented to them because it would be hard for him to find someone else in the middle of the quarter once I left. I was not happy with the arrangement, but I resigned myself to it because I would be leaving soon, and I felt sorry for the other girls who were international students desperate for a place to live.

Today I came back to find that Odd Guy forgot to tell me that he had rented to an additional male, who was going to share the living room with him. On top of that, that other guy had a friend who was staying "temporarily." (Luckily, he's leaving tomorrow, after having stayed for several days). The girls are also not sharing one bed. They moved in their furniture, and our beds are lined up along one wall, with a tiny bit of room between each. I definitely do not have "half" the room.

In short, while I was away on vacation, Odd Guy interviewed and moved in 3 other people without my consent.

Luckily, the new roommates I met today are sociable and normal. (The flew into the country 5 days ago, and immediately went to look at apartments the next day, hence the haste). Thank goodness Odd Guy did not pick them because he thought they were kindred spirits. However, he's been less than honest with them as well. He told them I was "moving out at the end of the month" when he actuality my agreement is through mid-February.

The apartment is $900 and I'm paying $300. The other 3 new roommates told me they're paying $250 each. That means that Odd Guy is not only living rent-free, but making a profit of $150 a month running an illegal youth hostel.

According to the new people who moved in, he justifies this by saying that after the other roommates move out in June, he has to pay all $900 by himself until the lease ends in September. I'm sure he'll just rent to other people when we move out, and continue his little scheme.

He isn't home yet, so I have not seen him today, or had the chance to beat the pulp out of his skinny, short, ugly, pimply little dried shrimp-eating body.

Key Shenanigans

The engineer I live with seems to have book smarts, but not a lot of common sense.

The weekend I moved into my apartment Odd Guy was gone. He left me the key by hiding it on the balcony. My boyfriend had to hop the fence to get it.

A couple nights later I got a call from him asking if I was going to be around the next morning at 11:30 AM.

"Well, I was planning to go to campus, but why?"

"I don't have a key. I gave you mine."

His suggestion was for me to hide the key so he could let himself in.

"You want me to climb the fence with a bad knee, go to work, then hope you are around when I get back home tonight? Then we can repeat this tomorrow if you forget to make a copy again? No."

I told him I'd wait for him to show up, then we'd go make a copy of the key together. When he arrived, I got in his car, and he drove us to the local grocery store.

Then he said, "We can ask the people here where to make keys."

"Why don't you just go to the hardware store?"

Odd Guy didn't know where it was, so I gave him directions. We went into the store, and he immediately stood in line to pay at the cashier. I told him we had to go to the key grinder in the back of the store first, so he reluctantly followed me.

While the duplicate key was being made, he said he left his wallet in the car, but would pay me back.

I thought that was fine, but he then decided to do a bit of shopping in the store, while I was waiting, although he had no cash with him.

When we went to pay for the key and his coil of wire (which he said was going to be used to "make curtains") I pulled out a $20 bill. He took it from me and handed it to the cashier.

My friend's reaction when I told her was, "What? You don't get to pretend to be manly when you left your wallet in the car!"

Odd Guy then also pocketed the change the cashier handed over as I reached for it.

WTF? It took me a moment to realize that he thought it would be easier to just give me $20 later, instead of fumbling for the right number of coins, but couldn't he have said something? I was standing there thinking, "Wait, that's my money!"

He paid me back when we got into the car, but I've realized that he has a habit of performing actions without commentary, without realizing they require some sort of explanation.

Odd Guy Beginnings

I found my current apartment through an online ad, so all my correspondence with my roommate was through email. He had an androgynous name, and advertised "looking for a female roommate," so until I went to see the place, I thought Odd Guy was a girl.

He advertised for a female roommate because the bedroom I'm in is very spacious, and another girl had already agreed to rent the other half. (She later flaked, and he's looking for a replacement, but that's another story).

At that point I was desperate to move that week, and Odd Guy was the only one who was willing to let me stay for a couple months, instead of signing a year-lease. Although I didn't want to live a male roommate, the place was clean and cheap, so I accepted.

This is how I ended up living in half a room, with a guy sleeping in the living room. Can you see now why there are going to be stories?

Odd Guy

I've been very quiet for a bit, due to being busy with wrapping up school/research things so I can take a break during the holiday.

I've settled into my new apartment enough to give you an assessment of my roommate:

Treasure trove of awkward stories.

He's an engineering student with very poor social skills. Unlike my old roommates I don't think he's a scammer and his middle name isn't Skank, so I'm willing to put up with his weirdness for a couple months.

I'm traveling home today for the holidays, but there will be stories about Odd Guy galore.