Nuke the Whales

My coworker had a crazy high school teacher that was a former nun. She told her class she never wore lipstick because "it's made from whale blubber, and they kill whales with nuclear warheads, so when you use lipstick it has radiation in it."

This woman also had a fake plant on her desk, that she watered daily. One morning, the students noticed a new fake flower in the middle of the fake plant. Despite having to "help" the plant bloom, she continued to water it.

Her memory was so bad, she once showed the same history video to her class four days in a row. (Maybe she forgot her plant was fake?)

She later quit her job and purchased a piece of land with her husband, and tried to start a cult.

None of my high school teachers were that amusing.