Batty Nonsense

I and two other friends dressed as fancy bats for a Halloween ball. We wore black ballgowns and made caped wings and hats with bat ears.

There was a guy at the party who looked 15, but was probably much much older. He was wearing a black cape and a top hat with some non-costume clothing, so I assume he was trying to be a half-assed vampire. (There is a possibility he was simply a magician, but based on his behavior I don't think that was the case).

He spotted us sitting at a table eating sweets and came over to talk to us. I'm not sure if he had a speech impediment, or was trying to fake a foreign accent, but he made intense eye contact and muttered something about "creatures of the night." Instead of projecting an aura of suave mystery, he simply appeared to us as a weirdo mumbler because we could not comprehend any of his pick-up lines.

I think the poor fellow's thought process went something like this:

"OMG! Bats! Bat ladies! And I'm a vampire! This is my chance! I am going to be all cool and mysterious and be like, 'Hey chickies I'm your master!' "

"Okay okay, I'm standing next to them now. Stay cool man! Show an interest in their stuff. Chicks like that."

"Crap! They looked at me weird when I picked up their personal belongings from the table. Okay, note to self: Don't need to touch things to ask about them."

"Hmm, all right, that girl seems mad. I'm going to go around to the other side of the table and bother her friend. I'll try to keep my hands to myself this time."

"Why can't these girls understand what I'm saying? They keep giving me answers that have nothing to do with my questions! Don't they know how to decipher a fake Romanian accent?"

"Wait, who's that tall dude who's giving me dirty looks? Oh crap! Oh major crap! He's a boyfriend, I know it. Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"

I felt sorry for him, so I pretended he was just asking for candy, and gave him some Smarties.