Please Leave Me Out of Your Love Triangle

I spend little time on AIM because it seems every time I surface I get sucked into someone else's drama. Maybe I should stop being polite. An example:

I get a message from a screen name I don't recognize, saying "Hi." I ignore it until the person says "It's Dave."

I know several Daves and I think it may be one of them so I ask, "Which one?"

Dave: "The Mexican one!"
Me: "Sorry, doesn't ring a bell."
Dave: "Are you messing with me man?"
Me: "No, sorry I think you have the wrong person."
Dave: "This isn't Tom?"
Me: "No."
Dave: "No way!"

Eventually I convince Dave I am not Tom. The very next day I get a message from Rob, who also thinks I am Tom. I politely tell Rob to check with Tom, who seems to have sent his friends the wrong screen name.

Rob: "Who else have you talked to?"
Me: "Some guy named Dave."
Rob: "Dave is a pimp!"

Rob seemed a little jealous of Dave, and proved difficult to convince I was not Tom. Unfortunately it took a little while for the real Tom to spread the word about his correct screen name.

Two weeks, four or five separate messaging attempts from Tom's friends, and several miscellaneous comments later, I piece together the story.

Now I can tell people, "Yeah, I once had two guys fighting over me, but that was when they mistook me for a gay man from Illinois."

P.S. The reason I didn't block Tom's friends from the get-go: Once a poor chap mistook me for his girlfriend and became rather distraught when I ignored him.