Snark Scribe

Not all of us can meet people of quality

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Warning Signs That a Party is Bad

My friend was invited to a party and decided to bring me with her. We had other plans so we arrived rather late, just to drop in and say hello.

Sign #1 that a party is bad:
By the time we arrived, there was one female left at the party.

Sign #2:
The lone female had to be at the party, because she lived at the house where it was being held.

Sign #3:
Before we went in my friend warned me not to talk to "Dirk," who had a habit of telling disgusting stories. I was to recognize him as the "creepy and unattractive" guy.

Sign #4:
I walked in and thought, "Which creepy and unattractive guy?"

I know that sounds horrible, but please wait to judge me. This is what I saw:

Sign #5: A guy picking at his feet.
Sign #6: A man in dirty sweatpants and a torn t-shirt, afflicted with some sort of unpleasant odor.
Sign #7: A gentleman with huge (4 inch) scabs on his elbows and either 2 black eyes or really severe sleep deprivation.
Sign #8: An emaciated fellow with poorly groomed facial hair, who smelled of cigarettes.
Sign #9: A greasy-haired individual who spoke fondly of Klingon weddings.

I am accustomed to all sorts of people, and have many friends others would consider "odd." I can tolerate weirdness or even poor social skills but am I a snob for expecting someone to practice general hygiene? Especially in the presence of females?

By the way, I found out later that "Dirk" was the guy picking at his feet.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Ex-Restaurant Manager said...

I'm guessing "Animal House" is the most watched video in their collection.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Snark Scribe said...

No, I think it's probably "Revenge of the Nerds."

9:11 PM  
Blogger Princess in Galoshes said...

Mmm. Sick. I realized that I was officially OLD when the idea of house parties no longer appealed to me unless they involved a wine tasting of some sort.

And I'm o.k. with my old curmogeon-ness.

10:31 AM  

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