Medical Volunteer

A friend of mine is in medical school, and is currently practicing basic exams on volunteer patients. Recently, her class learned how to perform rectal and prostate exams on faux patients that were paid $100 an hour.

The first patient was nervous and somewhat embarrassed. The poor man probably volunteered due to financial need.

The second patient was quite the opposite of shy. Prior to leading the medical students into the exam room, the instructor said, "I don't want you to be alarmed, but this next patient is a nudist and will not be wearing any clothes."

According to my friend, not only was he stark naked, but he was "posing." He greeted all the students with a warm, "Hi, how are you doing?"

The students found out that he was a habitual volunteer for the rectal exams at a different medical school. Whenever he moved to a new area, he contacted the nearest school in his new hometown and announced his arrival.

The instructor later said, "I'm not sure whether the fact that he is very experienced is a good thing, or a disturbing thing."

My theory is that the nudist volunteer enjoys the exams, and thinks being paid to be naked is the greatest thing ever.

Medical Mystery

I had an appointment today, and I'm starting to think my doctor and her nurse find me weird.

I'm on medication that causes weight gain, but I'm losing weight instead. (I interpreted this to mean I should go out and buy a bag of Kit Kat bars. I'm eating one right now).

After the nurse gave me a shot, she stood there with a band-aid ready, and stared at my arm. A few seconds passed and she started to frown. "Huh, no blood." She then put the band-aid away.

I asked if I could have a band-aid anyway, maybe because I'm a hypochrondriac and I Have a Tiny HOLE in My Arm Now CAN'T YOU SEE!

Actually, no she couldn't. After I came home I pulled the band-aid off to peek at my wound. The prick was about 1 mm away from the edge of the band-aid pad.

Another Kit Kat bar will calm me down.